How to Keep Your Child Safe

Dean and I worked at Group homes for about 5 years and we know first hand, the effects  molestation can have on children.  We worked 3 years with teens, many of whom had been molested, and 2 years with young boys who were molesters.  I would dare say most all of them had been molestered  when they were younger.  Prevention is the key. Maybe these tips can help you and your child.

1. No Secrets

Parents should make every effort to have close family ties of trust. There should be no secrets  kept from  family.  The child should be taught if someone wants him to keep a secret he doesn't keep secrets from his parents and he will tell.

Abusers  demand the victim keep their secret, or threaten to hurt him or his parents.

2. The Rule of Personal Space

Children should be taught the rule of Personal Space.  Stay a safe distance from a stranger. Don't talk to them or accept anything from them like candy or other gifts. NEVER go anywhere with a stranger.  

 3. Common Tricks Used

Common tricks used with children are asking for help to find a lost pet,  asking for directions, telling children their parents asked them to pick them up, pretending to be a policeman  or some other authority figure. 

4. Child's Body Belongs to the himself.

No one has the right to touch the child's body. Parents should support their child's feelings and let him say "no" to hugs and kisses from friends or relatives. This will make it easier for the child to say "No" to a "friendly" stranger.

5. Don't put your child's name on personal items.

The child's name should not be put on backpacks, lunch boxes, gym bags or clothing. Strangers can use the child's name to act like they know him or you.  He can greet the child by name.

6. Use Role Playing to teach your child. 

Teach your child by pretending to be a stranger; discuss with them what they should say and do. Encourage your child to talk about what they would do and say if approached by an unknown adult.  Take time to talk with your child. 

A mother could talk about going  shopping.  What would you do if you couldn't find me?  What if a stranger comes up to you while you are playing, what would you do? Discuss Solutions.

7. Have a Code Word

This is  a special word, known only by the parents and the child which is used if EVER  someone else has  to pick him up, that person must say the "code word" before the child will go with him. If the person doesn't know the "code word", the child should not go with him, no matter what. 

8. Run from Strangers

A child should be taught to stay away from strangers. Stay close to your parents in a store. Never go anywhere with a stranger. If a strangers should come over to your child, they should be taught to run away immediately. Yell to attract attention. Look for a policeman, a store manager, or other adult for help. Most people would not take advantage of a child. A child predator will not chase a child who causes a stirr because he doesn't want to attract attention to himself.

9. Always Fight Back

If someone starts to touch or grab your child, teach him to  kick, yell, and scream. You can teach your child a phrase to yell that will get attention. Tell him to   fight back in every possible way.  This makes it difficult for the abductor.  Tell him to grab on to  any object, and hold on.

10. Alway Try to Escape

If your child has been kidnapped, he should keep searching for a way to escape and attract attention.  In the trunk of a car, rip out wires and break tail lights. Some cars have trunks with an interior release that can be pulled to open the trunk. Some trunks have rear seats that can be folded down and crawled through. Kick the trunk to make noise. Find tools like a wrench or a tire iron to  make noise.

If the child would be in the passenger seat when abducted, he should think of ways to attract attention and try to remember names of highways or towns so he can tell the police what they need to know, in order to find him.  Remember what your abductor looked like, how tall he was, was he fat or thin. All this information can be helpful to the police.

If the child is in a house, turn lights on and off to attract attention, in a S.O.S. pattern. He can lock himself in a room, find a phone to call 911, or jump out  a window.  Injury while escaping is better than abuse or murder.

11. Parents should make Identification Information.   

You should make a complete record  at home and  a wallet I.D. card you carry.  This I.D. could help the authorities to find a missing child. The sooner the information is given to Police the sooner a search for the child can begin.  Make sure the I.D.s includes personal and medical information, physical characteristics, and a recent photograph. Include dental records, fingerprints, and DNA samples in the home file.  Update both annually.

COMPUTER SAFETY FOR YOUR CHILD

 NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOUR CHILD MAY PROTEST:

a.  Never allow a child to be secretive with a computer. 

b.  Always know what sites they are going to.

c.  Check what sites they have visited. 

d.  Talk to them about preditors on the web.

Just this week a prayer request was made by a policeman who attends our church about a 16 year old girl who is missing.  She had been chatting with someone in a north-eastern state.  Presumably she was encouraged to run off by whomever she had been chatting with.  She was not a "Troubled youth."  JUST VULNERABLE.

 Online chatrooms and spaces - a cause for concern for parents?  

Every week there are news items about sexual preditors finding a victim over the internet.  YOU CANNOT BE TOO CAREFUL.  NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY CRY ABOUT THEIR PRIVACY.    Every victim's family wishes they had been more knowledgeable about their child's activities.  Don't wait until it is too late!